Episode 19: "ARE WE CLOWN MEN?" feat. The Ion Pack *FULL EPISODE ON PATREON*

I mean, I went to magic camp. David Blaine and Criss Angel were the counselors. It's like, you are not being molested. It's unbelievable he got away with that. Yeah. Best trick yet. If you just want to take one of those mics and just run it up and under your shirt. Yeah, yeah, this one? Yeah, perfect, man. Thank you. Wow. Really get going. These kind of mics, interesting. Yeah. So there's two schools of thought. There's you guys and the Adam Friedland show. And we went with the Adam Friedland show. That's cool. I never thought... You're listening to the free version of Clout Farm for the full episode. Sub the Patreon, geezer. That's fine. Whatever. Oh, collar with a jacket, I might do. Wait, dude, who the fuck was willing to call it? Just us. Well, because Curtis was like, dude, we got a solo. We got to talk about aggro drift tonight. And then, because we saw it two nights ago, and we just had a lot of thoughts. And he was like, I'm seeing Civil War tonight. And I was like, at what time? And he was like, 10. And I was like, dude, you're going to get out at midnight. I was like, I'm fucking tired. And I was like, we're not going to start until 2. He pulls up to the office at 1.45. We leave at 5.30. I was just like, you fucking asshole. All right, yeah, let's do it. Are we going for three hours? Going Rogan hours? I think we'll go for two and a bit, and then we'll go ahead to mansions. I respect the length. Yeah.

People love it, man. Podcast three. People love it. Let it be known. Podcast three, one day. We've done five in 48 hours. What do you mean? This is the third podcast we've done today. That's crazy. And then we're all three hours? Nah, two hours and then this will be two. We did two yesterday. It's five in 48 hours. We're like, we're banking the apps, man. Yeah. Good for you guys. We just have so many thoughts. We just have an abundance of thoughts. Do you? Yeah. I'm excited. I'm thinking... I'm an empty vessel. I'm thinking shit right now. We're here to radicalize you. Yeah, radicalize me. Pill me on podcasting. I don't know much about it. Give me brackage. Give me brackage. Doritos bags look mad different now. Yo, you've heard our shit. Joe Schmo did the fucking food. Oh, there. Damn. Okay, here we go. Damn. Yeah. Anyone you want to contribute, Curtis? What'd you say? Anyone you want to contribute? Yeah, Curtis. What do you want to do? Oh, fuck Curtis. Sorry. How's the life going, man? How's the life going? Oh, so I'm pretending I'm Curtis? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In lieu of him being here. KJ's always late, right? Just touring. Touring is so tough. The music industry is so fucked. Wait, do his voice. I am. Do his voice but a girl. No, I think I'd rather be myself and like just talk about Curtis without him in the room because I don't get to do it that often. Yeah, yeah. Go off, Kane. We were saying before we started that, you know that like Chad voice test? Do you know what your hurts is? Mine's like deep in the Chad region. It's good, yeah. Well, when we were pitching our voices down, people thought it was like so overkill because my voice is already so fucked. When my voice dropped when I was younger, I had a panic attack because I used to have a really high choir boy, sort of almost falsetto-esque voice. And when this erupted, I was like, oh, I just woke up one morning and it sounded like this. I was like 13 or something, and I was like, I'm disgusting now. I hated it. For real? But now it's the only thing that makes me money. You're just asking for baby stuff in an adult's voice?

Yeah, exactly. I just wanted my milk. Mom, bring in the milk. Do you fuck with traditional American confections, such as Twinkies and Ding Dongs? So we're from Philly, and we have crimpets. That's Philly of Delphia fame. Yeah, of Delphia fame. Say less, say less. Have you ever had a tasty cake? What's that? Tasty Cake is the brand, but they make these things called crumpets. I mean, it's kind of a very British sort of treat. It's just essentially like white cake with butterscotch on it. I mean, it's one vowel off of crumpets. Yeah. Crumpet, crumpet. I think they're basically the same thing. Okay, okay. But yeah, I'm a fan of America. I'm a big donut guy. I travel across the country and try to almost every... I tried to try a donut in every state. Yeah, and so you eat them orally. I eat them orally, yeah. Is there another way? I don't know how you guys... I'm traveling. I'm trying to learn your ways. What have you guys been eating? Listen, okay, so I had Funyuns for the first time ever last night. Funyuns. You like them? Not particularly. I don't like them. I'm not a chip guy. We talked about chips on our podcast last night. Recount. Burn it on ours. Yeah, Curtis. I mean, Curtis is going in about this hot cheddar ruffle that he's into. Chips make me feel disgusting. We went to Canada recently, and there's some, like, sort of ketchup chip that he's obsessed with there that I couldn't relate to on long. So he has a peasant's palate. He does. I hesitate to say that on video, but he does indeed have a peasant's palate. Wait, are you still being KS, or are you KJ? No, I'm fully KJ. Okay. It's the only thing I know how to be. I think the problem with crisps is they stay on you for too long. And they're so greasy. I can't do the hands and all the dust. It's disgusting. We both have OCD. You'll see. He'll come in dressed. We'll probably be dressed exactly the same. We've done the same things to our clothes and prepared to be around people in the same way. A really disgusting sort of metrosexual 2005. It's crazy. You're the second person we've podcasted with today who's...

reference metrosexuals really and i feel like it's it's gradually kind of it's coming back yeah well it was more it was more in a turkish stank in the previous yeah it was on a turkish um yeah but i feel like i've just i've been seeing it referenced in la cultura a little bit more widely it was a big thing when i was growing up it was like Because I wore girls' pants and shit, and my mom would always introduce me. I was like, my son is Metro. I mean, I hated it growing up, but now I'm identifying as it. I'm a Metro sexual. That's cool. That's a good way of beating the dude allegations as well. Exactly. Yeah. I think so. Were you rocking the same swag? Yeah, I've not changed at all. Nice. I've experimented with baggier jeans, but it never feels right. Yeah. It never works. But my friends who've known me the longest are like, what are you doing today? I'm like, I don't know. I have these balloon pants on. Yeah, yeah. And we still get roasted. With the Chelsea Hills? Yeah, yeah. No, no, I'll try. I don't know. Yeah, you got to switch up to like a trainer or something. You have to wear a sneaker or a boot or a Timberland. Just never like. I've never heard an American say a trainer. I did that for you. Oh, you're pandering. A jumper, yeah. The trainers and the jumpers. How did you resist the peer pressure not to go baggied and street-weared in the mid-tens? I think, I mean, that's, like, a big thing. We were roasting on the pod for a long time. It was just, like, people in New York, like, all these, like, rich kids wearing, like, Carhartt and, like, fucking, like, homeless clothes and shit. And it was just, like, the most cringe. Like, the Safdie era of filmmaking and, like, fuckboy culture in New York. Just, that's, like, because we spent our 20s being, like, absolute complete losers, total outsiders, orbiters, like, horrible. pieces of shit that everybody hated and called transplants and stinky and stinky stink no we never stank we always had good sense and shit but yeah i don't know just i think we never felt included in that crowd of people so like the easiest thing to take shots at was like you guys like grew up in tribeca and like where like

construction worker clothes like it was just like the most annoying possible so it was easy to not wear baggy shit for a while they're like walking around with bindles yeah but like from [redacted address] up to 2020 like us essentially just like wearing leather jackets like skinny jeans and shit was just like we were like gay like it was just like those are like gay guys who suck like that was just like how we were perceived just like suck just like we're gay okay okay are not cool um which was just ironic then indie sleaze comes back and it's like i mean like we met the help guys and we were like wow they're like doing it like 10 times harder than us but like in a way that felt like a museum piece and it's like we're not going we're not quite look like this right yeah maybe this is what everyone sort of they put us in the category of these these clown men i was like a reclown men like no in chandler i love them both dearly um That's a pretty good pod title. Are We Clown Men? Are We Clown Men? Or Are We Dancer? Yeah. Wait, but you were putting up to your ambient DJ sets. Oh yeah, you guys were mentioning that you guys did a bossa nova civic club thing. Which, yeah, I mean, I would do happy hours for like four people. And I would pull up with like a giant case of ambient vinyl that like I really care about. When you said that, I was like, what kind of beer is that? I mean, I just, I have like a giant, I'm like, I made ambient music for a very long time and just released for like six people in Norway. You know what I mean? It's like, there's like 12 people that give a shit about it that I've never met. Norwegians are so fucking stupid. Actually, it's like Luxembourg. Luxembourg was kind of like, the demograph. Luxembourg is so fucking stupid. Yeah. I went once and it was really... It was beautiful, but I was like, what is this place? Really? Was it actually? I thought it was... I mean, maybe it was because I was... I genuinely don't know. I thought this was some weird Dutch rivalry. I have no real sense of what Luxembourg is like other than that it's like a sterile kind of banker's paradise. I thought it was a tax haven. It is. Exactly, exactly. That's why they like ambient music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, fully earnestly, the guy... So I was obsessed with this label called Own Records, which is like a Luxembourg... Wait, OHM?

O-W-N, like own, like my own records. But I just, I was obsessed with that label. They were releasing this artist called Willamette that those were just, this artist Willamette was just like my favorite ambient records. And they had sort of stopped being a label, but like I sent my first track to them and they were like, if you make a whole record, this will be our final record we ever released. And I was like, oh, I was like 24. And I was like, that would be so fire. So I made a whole record and I think maybe I was just like charmed with. the lifestyle there and i was like there's this guy who like makes these like super expensive vinyls in this like weird rich country and i met his baby and like his whole job like he worked for the culture like the the ministry of culture or something and i was like he's his whole life is like programming the opera house and like the government's paying him to program arts and it was just like all stuff that was so foreign to me as someone who like grew up in philly it was just like i think i was just very charmed with like their value system there and i mean maybe i'd feel differently if i went back now but what was the um moniker just kj just kj yeah i was going prince mode i was just ungoogleable it's you can find it i could send it to you actually my record with them like my license already expired so it's just on my band camp now but nice i released on this like russian label called dronarium droner rhythm This Wisconsin label called Lost Tribe Sound. Just weird, super niche. I always looked for labels that made good physical products because I was obsessed with nice, expensive, physical, ambient shit. But yeah, Boston, I have a civil club. That was the early days. Can you give us a little acapella rendition of an ambient song of yours? It's like... Yeah, that's it. That was pretty good. That was my first single. That's the hit. It was the hit, honestly. It was called Blue. It was a hit. My friends liked it. Well, I was actually just making ambient loops because I lived in the West Village and I lived above this super busy bar. I'm naturally nocturnal and I'd be up until 5 in the morning every night.

But it got to a point where, like, if I had to fall asleep at, like, 1, I, like, couldn't because it was unbelievably loud in my apartment. So I just, I was, like, you know, I was into Buzinski and all the bullshit. Buzinski and all the bullshit. Buzinski, yeah. I'm giving you titles here. But, yeah, I was just, like, I was interested in, like, loop-based sort of, like, trancy ambient stuff. And I just started trying to make them for myself to fall asleep to. And then I played them for Friends. They were, like, this is actually kind of fire. So that was the beginning of that. The only reason I was making music solo, though, is because Curtis and I were in a band in high school, which he will refuse to speak about. Really? Because he doesn't want anybody to know. Well, because they're better than The Life? They are not better than The Life. It was certainly not better than The Life. What was the vibe? It had a little bit of success. It was like, you know, Girl Talk? Remember the old mashup artist? Yeah. it was sort of like a like a polyphonic spree version of girl talk we had 16 members curse i met because of that band um yeah maybe i won't talk about that anymore but we met in that band and we all like we broke up and then just started making music all separately but my version of that was making like super boring wallpaper ambient music You're listening to the free version of Clout Farm. For the full episode, sub the Patreon geezer. I don't understand how Polyphonic Spree X GoTalk works in practice. Just imagine if instead of actually sampling, you're actually composing the music. Making mashups by composing it and writing sheet music for 16 people. A fucking string section, a choir, three guitarists, a bass player, multiple vocalists. It was retarded. Sounds really stupid. It was quite bad. We started when I was 16.

I'm glad I was doing something. Yeah, I mean, it has like a childlike naivete to it. That's like, that's a stumble you have to make. It had a gayness. A certain gayness. Yeah. Like gayness being the like, you don't remember what je ne sais quoi is. Yeah, it was embarrassing for sure. But it also like, I don't know, it taught me a lot about just like collaborating with people. I don't know, just, like, the main thing I've taken away from, like, being creatively collaborative with people is just, like, learning to deal with different personalities. Like, making art is one thing, but, like, dealing with, like, how insane creative people are is, like, the ultimate challenge. For example, Curtis being an hour late, right? Yeah, but is he really, is he truly creative? Curtis? Yeah. Is he truly creative? Let's be real. He is. I have to give him that one. Okay, but, like, is he truly creative? He is. No, I mean, I like, there he is. That was creative as time. That was cool. Fuck. I can't wait to see him again. So is that the band that you guys recorded at the DFA studios? Yeah. Oh, wow. Did we talk about that? I think I've heard you guys talk about it. Yeah, yeah. We recorded. So LCD had just broken up and DFA sort of opened as a studio that you could actually record in. With James Murphy? James was kind of sauntering around the studio. He didn't actually engineer it. Matt Thornley, who was the guitarist of LCD. Do you know him? No, no, no. I know. I'm a huge LCD fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were too. But yeah, Matt engineered. And I mean, yeah, they just had like a plethora of like incredible old synths and really cool shit. We broke up like a week after recording in there. Really? So it was like sort of the pinnacle of like, oh, we're making it. Like we're recording in a cool studio. And then just like actually, I fucking hate you, and I'm moving to Korea. Is this what happened with the band leader? Yeah, yeah. What's that person up to now? He's still in Korea. Fuck. Yeah. That's kind of crazy. He was my best friend, too. Oh, dude. People let you down. I know. And moved to Korea. It's rough. Hey, man. Nice to meet you. This is KJ. Yeah, that's KJ.

They did the thing that I've done before. They were like, we're going to start recording. I was like, that's fire. You want a drink? Sure. Where do you have? They have Celsius. I'll just take a beer. Whoa. Big draker. I can't do Celsius anymore. It fucks my stomach up. This is my third of the day. Really? Yep. Yo, you just clip that to any part of your clothing. If you want to run it under your t-shirt. Yeah. It's interesting that they're using these kinds of mics. Well, I guess it's on camera, yeah. We basically had like four of the worst quality mics in the world with socks over and then Rob was like, oh, Adam Friedland uses clip mics. I was like, fucking run it. Yeah, well, we finally got some Patreon money, so we bought some you get, which is nice. Yeah, fuck yeah. So James Murphy was kind of like chimping about in the background of your recording session. We're talking about the DFA session. Oh, yeah. Wow. I completely forgot about that. Yeah, I can't believe it. Yeah. Yeah, there we go. Blast from the past. Yeah. Yeah, he was just sort of sauntering around. We didn't have any real interaction, but just like even the ghost of James being there was sort of a nice omen, even though it ended really horribly. That was a fun experience. The music that we made in those sessions is probably some of the worst music ever made. Definitely. Truly some of the most abhorrently bad music. Is it like Jacob Collier vibes? What did you say? Jacob Collier vibes? Who is that? Oh, I know who that is. Yeah. David, can you explain it? I feel like you'll do a better job than me. He's like a... Someone who's not into music whatsoever, it's their idea of what a musical genius is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he's more like a music teacher on Instagram who somehow actually got a fan base as a musician. But I find the way he's overly aggressively sincere. Yeah, in the most annoying way. So fucking overpowered. No, no, he's like 25. Yeah. Oh, okay. So he's allowed to be a little earnest. But he also, like, nah, not in the way that he does it, but he also, he does this thing where he, like, he has this kind of, like, affected eccentricity, like, with, like, the, like, spiky hair or whatever, that I find, like, deeply, deeply, deeply grating. Wait, who brought him up? I did, because you were talking about, like, a 16-piece band that kind of...

I think it's the same as what we're talking to Anna about, where this is what happens to conservatoire musicians. None of them make interesting music. They make, like you say, stuff for people who don't know about music to think you're a musical genius. Conservatoire musicians. Yeah, I can't even think of who... Should see what happens to conservative musicians. Oh, bam. We've got one right here. No comment. I showed them the Bar Italia Trump meme. It's really good. Yeah, there's no... I guess Dirty Projectors were like a... Love DP. They were like an educated... DP, yeah. ...band, but didn't he drop out or something? That was kind of part of it. Of the conservatory? Yeah, like only good musicians were dropouts. I mean, I was talking about that with somebody the other day, just like the era of white guy musician bands. So much of their press release was about what college they were coming from, what fucking Ivy League university was putting their stamp on the band. It's the complete opposite now. I know, but I'm saying that's such a time work. That used to be important. They're actually from Columbia, and that makes it like art music because they're from school. Are you talking about Vampire Weekend? Vampire Weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You fuck with the new album? I'm giving it a shot. Yeah, I've got to give it another shot. I made it through a couple songs and then I got bored. Everyone loves it. It must be good. It just didn't hit for me. That Mary Boone song. That's a great tune. Everyone kept telling me to listen to that one and I was like, yeah, this is fire. Lots of popular stuff right now I keep thinking is bad and then I revisit it once later. Like if you listen to that guy. For some reason that didn't hit for me at all at first and now I love it. What are you guys listening to? Oh, you heard the song Despacito? Yeah. That's good. I'm kind of revisiting a classic. Yeah, that's a good one. Going back to my roots. I fuck with it. My formative era. Yeah. Are you guys fucking with Stillhouse Plants? Oh, that's... I don't know. It's a Scottish band. Yeah, they used to play with Bartali sometimes, right? Oh, really? They played Avalon. I believe that. Oh, shit. That's right. Yeah, you're right. I'm playing at Avalon. Is Avalon cool? Wait, you're playing Avalon? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Great venue, man. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, when's that?

May 15th. Just the life? Yeah. I don't know who else is on it yet. Wait, wait, do you know who the Soho Boys are? The Soho Boys? They're a Bar Italia parody band in New York who my band is playing with on Saturday and will be in London around that time. Bar Italia parody band? Yeah, yeah. Do they play Bar Italia songs? No, but basically they're kind of, my band are like an American band in London and they're like a London band in New York. But that's not happening. Oh no. I guess this isn't where I thought it'd be. Used to think it's you, but I guess it's me. You're listening to the free version of Clout Farm for the full episode sub the Patreon geezer. I think the problem with a lot of that stuff is it's becoming like really like post Bar Italia, the kind of like disaffected, low production quality.