Episode 14: "DUWAP KAINE ONLYFANSCLUB" feat. SUS1ER *FULL EPISODE ON PATREON*

Oh, shit. Actually, I think we got to slice this into just before the Patreon cutoff. I got a shout out, Ingrid. He said he'd give me a track ID if I shout him out on the podcast. So I shout out. People are just, like, eating cigarettes. Kind of. Kind of vibe, yeah. Like, hella six. Definitely. Have you seen that YouTube documentary about that Chinese guy named Pangza? And his, like, whole thing is just drinking an obscene amount of alcohol? Dude, he's a goat. I thought he quit to focus on his family. Yeah, he did. But, you know, that documentary is still based. Shout out to the wonton dude. I'm sure, I'm sure. Maybe he's gone trad if he's looking after his family, you know? Yeah, he's quit the drink. He's put down the booze. He's picked up the tools. From Cyclone to Zephyr. Yeah, we should probably introduce a guy who on our screen is described as big-ass dick monster. I'm going to say about what unit of measurement can I use? I'm going to say three SanDisk 32 gig USBs. Yo, that was my guess. Dude, well, you've seen it though. Well, I smelled it mainly, but I caught a little glance alongside the whiff.

Yeah. The whiff has got quite a husk to it. Quite a musk, I should say. Definitely. How about you, David? Or how about you, MK, rather? Actually, four. You want to throw out the cock dimensions? Dude, we had this. We covered this already in the Specialized episode. Yeah, but you didn't say yours. You didn't say yours. I'll reiterate. I'm about... What did you say? You said three, right? You said three, Sandisk? Yeah. I'm about a four. Oh, damn. Yeah, but you got like the micro one on the end, don't you? No, no, no, no. This isn't a table-turning type situation. We're not doing dick semantics here. You're going to take me by my word. You know what I meant. I guess, I guess, you know. And if you want to know mine, you can listen to Cloud Farm episode 4, Cock Dimensions, and subscribe to the Patreon. And it's, you know, all my numbers are in there. all the sequenferences and the t-cell counts and such all right yeah let's just throw it back to get the subs up you know and this isn't even this isn't even the paywall part it's crazy it's just crazy the tidbits that we just that we willingly sacrifice because the lord i thought i thought it was it was titbits no no no no no no oh it's tidbits for the day man i prefer i prefer tidbits no i don't i don't like that i think it's rude and lewd and frankly beneath us yeah honestly man come on yo we got so we got sus we got suswanner uh on the on cloud farm today we what we don't have is actually we don't have two people um namely dominic aka dang lord and uh reed aka effective power um suswanners brother in power uh who is meant to be this is meant to be like a double like a double feature type episode but we got bailed on both in-house and externally um so i'm kind of i'm hurting a little bit i thought we'd kick this off a little bit of a roast um yeah well cry baby ass read uh effective fella cry baby be like oh wait wait i got no sleep i'm gonna wake up at 6 a.m in the friggin morning to do a podcast oh have a soup dude you know honestly like

You should be here backing it up, throwing it back on camera for the free part of the Patreon so you can watch that for free. And then once we get past the paywall, you can get a little freaky, but no. Come on. No, baby needs his sweep sweep. Yeah. He's cheeked up to the gills. He's cheeked up something fierce. 100%. Read Babington, aka Effective Power, so weak he chews water. Read so much a honky cracker that when it snows and a snowflake fall on his tongue, he say, ow, this spicy. Read so woke that when he ate that snowflake, it was considered cannibalism. Read the type of cracker to bring Pavlova to the sesh. Read the type of cracker who, when someone offers him a snack at the sesh, he says, don't mind if I do. Read the type of cracker to say, here comes trouble when someone joins the sesh. Read the type of cracker who, when someone accidentally bumps into him, he says, oh. Read the type of cracker to hold his nose closed when he jumps in the pool. Read the type of Kraken. Can I interject here? Yeah, go on. Read the type of Kraken above the drawers with his hip whilst he's walking past and go, boop! I saw this several times in Perth with my own ass eyes with the scent of your three sand discs still fresh on my nostrils. Read the type of Kraken to lick his fingers to turn the page of the book he's reading. And also the book he's reading is something funny as fucking lame. Reed's so emotionally fragile, he's my girlfriend. I think we roasted his ass raw. If you're listening, Reed, fuck you. I mean, I'm not going to co-sign that, but I will say do better. I got a haircut specifically for the episode to look kind of fresh. Dude, I got a haircut, then I realized that I don't have a webcam.

That's fucked up. Can you describe it? I'd say it's like a low-taped fade in the style of Ninja. No, it's not. It's like a subtle fade on the side. I'm sorry for lying. Ninja from Diamonds. No, Ninja from Fortnite. Streamer Ninja. I've got no idea what that is. He did that epic. He did one of the most epic fills of all time. He's a fail army 69 star general. I hate that I just said 69. I kind of want to retract that. He's a fail army general supreme. I feel like you've been rocking the fave for a minute. Oh, this guy. Yeah. Ninja who apparently had Ligma. He was the first to be diagnosed with Ligma. Wait, Ligma? Lick my balls. Whoa, what the hell? Are you shitting me right now? Epic troll. But no, I have been rocking the Fed for a minute now. Scan put me on about two years ago. And before that, I was a hopeless virgin. But now I'm the big ass dick monster, as you might be able to tell. Yeah, I got that distinct sense. What's Scan saying, man? Shout out Scan. At this point in time, he's probably still asleep for another six hours. He's a late riser. And yeah, he's chilling, you know. That's the thing about visionary minds, man. They don't adhere to sort of conventional schedules like that. They kind of operate by their own inscrutable esoteric logic. Exactly. Time is a madman concept after all. So they say. um i feel like i mean to those i mean i've often made the mistake um when i like talk about people that i kind of like project my own like extremely narrow kind of soundcloud fried worldview onto the rest of the world um it's just like not the case but but in my mind you guys i mean you mentioned scan we already mentioned effective power obviously you're us you guys are doing some of the most like interesting music currently going um like

obviously like going to australia a few months ago was like i went there for a reason just just given the sheer the sheer amount of talent there um talking so sus oneer scan love fear fat shawty luca rain rapalo zuri video loss leo t kill and joy fractalore sydney phillips little cat um do you feel like australia kind of like gets its due or do you feel like i'm like overstating the the abundance of of talent I think he gets his due in some regard, but there is, like, you kind of made it to the perfect time because there is, like, a massive part of the Australian scene. I'm not going to name names for the sake of this, but it's just, like, a bunch of bozos who are, you know, talentless hacks. I'm just going to say it right now, but, no, there is certainly... What are their names? You're talking about Midnight Warfighter? That was a bit of a real shot. Yeah, I'm going to say like Midnight Oil. Fuck those guys. Also, fuck Jimmy Barnes. He did his thing way back, but he fell off kind of now. He hasn't really wrapped on any can-can type bits, so he fell off. And who else is there? Oh, Tame Impala. Fuck that guy. Yeah. That's more or less my take on the matter. What about like Morgrab? Do they like him in Australia? I fuck with Morgrab. Shout out to Morgrab. He's a good guy. He's a legend. Good guy. Really? Okay. Does he live in London? Yeah, he lives in London now, I think, but he's from... Yeah, he's a traitor for sure. He went back to the mainland, but he's from Newcastle, I believe, which is a small city. No, this is like a small city north. west of sydney but the important ones in the uk yes yes exactly i mean it's kind of important i have like a pretty crazy like like hardcore punk scene newcastle it's pretty cool you kind of with um one of our earliest like dm exchanges was i forgot how we got to it but we were just talking about like metal like sending like metal like hardcore like punk stuff back and forth

Yeah, I fuck with hardcore in a major way. Shout out to Hellsweep Femi for putting me onto a bunch of shit. Shout out Femi, man. He has fantastic taste. Yeah, and a fantastic look about him. No doubt. Another deep-ass head. Are you still going to metal shows and stuff? Not really. I kind of just don't really... go out too much as as as you used to i say but and also there just hasn't been much on this really piqued my interest in melbourne who are like the how much sorry how much of the like stereotype about melbourne holds true because i don't know anything about it apart from like what i see on tiktok well what's the stereotype that you say what's that area fits right Yeah, yeah. So I saw these TikToks about like middle-class people in Fitzroy drinking flat whites, stuff like this. Oh, yeah. It's 100% like that. Remember those videos on TikTok where it's like the dude standing in front of the pub having a conversation and it'll be like... Yes. Yes. So it's exactly like that in some regard in that area. I live in Fitzroy North. Please don't pull up to my house or I will shoot you. This is like the suburbia side of it, which is kind of chiller. But like Fitzroy itself is just like a hipster capital kind of thing. And there's a lot of that that goes on, but also there is like a side of Fitzroy. Okay. Right. Which side do you fuck with more? Or do you feel like you resolve the dialectic between the two? I do. I actually attract a lot of... I don't know if it's derogatory and I'm going to get kicked out of it. But the crackers just fuck with me. Would be the politically sensitive term. It's one of those things where you have to actively have a license to use it. That can be easily resolved. Yeah, but they fuck with me. Like, I'll be walking down the street. You know?

I mean, not so. I've just been trying to conversate with me and I kind of fuck with it. What do you think is that you're quite a warm, open guy? Are you giving them drugs? Why do you think they like you so much? I'm not too sure. I think it's because, you know, a lot of people shy away from people like to cross the street. You know, people like to walk by. and just not acknowledge them, I think I tend to play into acknowledging them a bit too much sometimes. Right. You're kind of like, you're like, I see, you're seen. You go up to them and you say, you're seen. Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah, exactly. I'm here to validate you. What's your star sign? Yeah, what's your star sign? Show me your birth chart right now and I'll give you a reading. Okay. And then do you try and get them to follow you on SoundCloud? I'm assuming that's how you get the numbers. Well, actually, I doubt he's got to say this, but let me give you some crazy lore. So this is in Melbourne. He's a busking rapper in Flinders Station area. And he goes by the moniker Cold City Vince. And he has an Instagram. And I followed him on Instagram one time. And I was just, you know. He's just live streaming constantly. And I kind of flew a bit too close to the sun with interacting with him. And then one time, as he normally does, he was having a breakdown on his story and said, if you have a vagina, please reply to this story. I need help. And I viewed the story and just skipped over it. And then he put up another story being like, fuck you, you stupid motherfucker. If I ever see you again, I'm going to stab you 40 times. um which is kind of scary because i did see him a fair bit like it when i was like walking through the city i would see him like a lot so yeah that was like probably the most risky um i don't know interaction to be fair actually sorry sorry that's that's threatening to stab someone 40 times for not having a vagina would be the natural response i'll have to i'll have to send you guys some shit of his it's actually quite

It's profound. Do you think he needed help with multitasking? That's why he was looking for a... No, I think it was something... Why do you think he needed help from a lady? I think it was sexual favors for sure. Oh, sorry, okay. So we try not to talk about that kind of stuff on the pod, just as a heads up. Yes, no, that was just for the sake of the story. Sorry. But he, I once went on a live stream with him and I was just trying to, because I was, he always live streams and I was just trying to ask him what his favorite movie was. And I joined the live stream just to get his attention. And he told me that he was a mix of Hunter S Thompson and Stanley Kubrick. But you never found out what his favorite film was. No, he didn't tell me what his favorite movie was. Have you ever been on a live stream with him IRL? Like you guys are both maybe going bar for bar or something? No, I haven't, but I've had a friend that's done that before and it was actually quite hilarious. What are his bars like? Are they like, does he have, does he hit? He's got a song that goes, kids don't be like me. Please don't be like me. Kids don't be like me. I'm a terrible role model. Yeah, it's pretty tough. That's probably the only song I've heard. Yeah. Is that one recorded, you know? Yeah, I think it was. Let me check his band camp real quick. I like the message. I'm in favour of the pro-social. Yeah, I like the message a lot, man. That's positive as hell. Yeah, actually, he's deleted his band camp. Typical. Vince, come on, man. You've got to have that repertoire. What's he called again, sorry? Cold City Vince. Cold City Vince. Yeah. Nice. We'll drop one of his songs in the edit. Yeah, shout out. If you can find it, I think it's been deleted. It might have been deleted.

I'm sure we can find one Um, Cold City Vince, uh, come on platform. Do you want to tell, like, what's the deal with Funny Gang, man? Who's in Funny Gang? What is Funny Gang? Define Funny Gang. What is it to be funny in gang? Funny Gang is an ideology where basically, so basically it started because one time Reid and I were incredibly wasted and we were playing Call of Duty and Reid was putting on a Hispanic accent and saying, He kept saying, do you want to be in my funny moments video? Search up Funny Gang on YouTube and you'll find it. And then I can't remember, but we found that very hilarious at the time. And then it was shortly before we had all gone to Melbourne for this show I was playing. um where i met like scan and stuff and it was just like the theme of the month where we just kept saying funny gang in a hispanic accent um and then it kind of just caught on from there and then scan was like oh that's actually kind of like a sick name we should use that and then it spawned from there but there was no like i think our roster's all over this the shop it's not really like like a musical roster of per se i mean like we've got like love fear Reed, Scan, Walker, Crimson Chaos. Oh yeah, sure. And I'm sorry to whoever I'm forgetting, but yeah, there's a few of us, but it's more just like a dumb joke that has gone too far now. Might as well just hold on to it. We're exposing the hateful, xenophobic.

uh latino skeptic roots of funny gang this is like we've actually entrapped your ass this is an expose yep yes sir i didn't realize crimson chaos was um like so so i know he's like done stuff with australian people i didn't realize he was like in the fold like that well because i remember crimson chaos he was the first person that i remember because he's like a bit younger than i am i'm only 22 for a reference but he's a bit younger than i am and he was doing like a show or something and i was just like a fan of his music for a while and i was like how like how do you do that how do you get shows because it was like before i even had like played a single show and i just like kind of started speaking to him about like the like the music scene in london and then Yeah, kind of just went from there, I guess. Yeah. He's cool, man. Yeah, he's a goat. He's a young goat. He pulled up to Rob Jimmer at that four quarters show we did, Peckham with Simran. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was at that. I met him briefly then, and I was like, he told me he was 20, and it made me really, really, really depressed. Yeah, that would have been racing then. I swear, only just 10, 21 a bit long ago. It was, I think it was like, I want to say it was end of 2022 or something. Yeah, true. So how long have you guys been doing shows for? For a minute now, right? How long have we been doing shows? Yeah. I mean, Rob's been doing shows for time. 10 years. Let's go. What would you say you're, I'm flipping the switch. I'm doing like the classic podcast guy maneuver. Like, you know, flipping the podcast around. What's your favorite show? This hasn't happened in a while, man. Let's go. Yeah, what's your favorite show you've done? Probably, do you know the band Chanel Beats? Yes. Sorry, yeah, you do. Yeah. We did their UK debut last year and that show was fucking nuts with organ tapes and Kosti. That was incredible.

MK shared tales with me of the fabled boat party that happened just before MK came to Australia. That shit sounded weird. It was fucking nuts. The boat party you did in 2022 is one of the best parties I've ever been to, without a doubt. 2023 was good as well, but I think 2022 was particularly... was fucking amazing. That was a nuts night. Who saved someone from drowning on that boat? Someone was about to fall off into the water. I intended. Yeah. Claims to do that. Claims to do that. There are zero witnesses to the... It's mostly his god complex. It's his god complex. Tim is high as hell at any given point. The guy is completely incoherent. Off the wall. Cooked out to the gills. You can't trust a word that man says. at any at the at the best of times but i think you told me so now i'm getting conflicting responses that's called a contact high so you were so high that you saw it happen to it's insane man i'm telling you do do not come into contact with timothy with timothy jar he's a corrupting presence and um a degenerate i think you're still high now actually I am, yeah. It's freaking crazy. You can't even imagine the thoughts, the new language I'm thinking in right now. Even when I'm high, I just want to get even more fucking high. Oh, I didn't say that, man. Actually, yo, that reminds me. Speaking of like crack and shows, well, when I played the show in Melbourne and I was like sleep deprived, I was like fripplingly sleep deprived. a lot of people were doing some like stimulant i forget what it was it was like it was like some like i feel like it was like some prescription like adderall adjacent thing what yeah what is it what's that what's what was it it's like the prescription name is like dextroamphetamine or dexamphetamine but everyone just calls it dexies dexies yeah that was it at one point

I was told this after the fact. Like, someone apparently, like, asked if I wanted, if I was trying to hit it, and I said no. And some guy, I guess, like, the guy who had asked supposedly on my behalf was like, oh, no, he's actually down, he's down, he's down, he's down. Like, I guess, like, someone handed him some quantity of this shit and just, like, made off with it himself and just, like, did it solo. That's legendary. I wonder who that would have been. That's awesome. I wish I could remember. Do you have any inkling of who that could have been? No, not that I'm aware of, but that is kind of hilarious. It's just been like, damn, I hope you really want some. I'll get him to pay you. That's hilarious. I rock with that. It was a moment of pure finesse. And I can only respect it. So how do you take this Dexys stuff? If it's a prescription drug, it's a tablet, right? Yeah, yeah. You just swallow it. They last for like three, four hours. It's kind of just like something that people use to stay awake. A lot of people use it to study. It's probably like the exact same as Ritalin, but it doesn't last as long. Right, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. What's the like, I mean, Australia is obviously renowned for just... um like coke being like paralyzing expensive but like what's the like what are people what are people huffing on when people huffing on yeah what's this so we have so like you know like i believe the uk call them whippers it's like oh yeah we call them we call them nangs over here that was like a that's like a massive thing like there's always like on like the news and shit there's always stuff being like oh we need a ban banned the sale of Nangs because they're, like, fucking people up. A lot of people do, like, MDMA, but because it's Australia, everything is, like, probably, like, a fraction of MDMA cuts with, like, you know, fucking God knows what. Cocaine is fucking expensive. Has fentanyl made it to Australia yet? Has what made it to Australia? Fentanyl.

Um, not that I'm aware of. Because it's in the UK now. It's kind of crazy. That's fucked up. I don't really, like, see down as, like, out and about too much, which, um... Oh, sorry, when I say, like, it's also, like, it's just getting, it's being used as a padding in other drugs. I'm not so sure. I don't think so. I don't think I've, like, I don't really... do drugs like that. Yeah, I don't fuck with Downhill. Yeah, no, I haven't seen it about, but there was people occasionally would get ketamine and there's a public health warning that it's been like, this batch of ketamine is making people end up in hospitals. So maybe that's a... Sounds about right, bro. Yeah. Is that what Lil' Ket is a reference to? The artist Lil' Ket? There's a little ketamine, yeah. What the hell? Yeah. But yeah, here's like a funny thing. In Melbourne specifically, it's like widespread as fuck, but like you go to Perth, yeah, you'll be like trying pretty hard to find it. Dude, I really fucked with Perth. Can you explain the cultural phenomenon of a bush doof? A bush doof? Okay, so a bush doof is like, it's kind of just like the equivalent of a squat rev. But they're like, mostly hosted outside. In Perth, there's like more of a warehouse party scene. In Melbourne, it's mostly bush doofs where people, there's like a few, like... spots that people do continuously because, I don't know, the police haven't caught on yet. I'm not going to blow them up on the podcast right now, but there's some great spots. There's this one that's next to the river. Honestly, it's kind of beautiful there, but in recent times, there has been some... There hasn't been many in the past year just because of events that happened at the end of...

2022 start of 2023 where people like because the problem is you can't really police who comes so like people just pull up and start acting a fool and do do bad things so what kind of shit's going down that's uh making the bush just too risky they're like swearing they're doing like spice charges yeah someone did a cinnamon challenge and it was fucking yeah this shit just went up in flames Too many ice bucket challenges at the bush doors. Yeah, that was an ice bucket challenge. Someone actually fucking... Oh, what happened again? Oh, yeah. Someone was playing hide and seek and no one found the last person. Crazy. It was fucking wild. The impact that that must have on the Australian economy. It was fucked, yeah. It rise to a hole. It was fucking ridiculous. No, someone actually got bottled there. Had a bottle smashed over their head and some other shit happened. And it just turned south very quickly. And that was kind of like the end of that era. For now, at least. That sounds like English pups, to be honest, man. So you're all good. But there was some pretty cool ones. We had, I don't know if you know Swan Mate. Hell yeah. Yeah, Swan Mate played at one, which is pretty random. I never thought I'd see that. I've played it a few. Actually, I have a gripe about Bush Jaws. The last one I played, I played like a pretty, I'm pretty sure I played like mostly like a hard style slash Gabba set. And then my last song, I put One Spliff a Day by Billy Boyle on. Oh, hell yeah. And this, the person playing after me just walked up and like within like 20 seconds of the song, actually like playing. They just took out my USB and just ended my set. And I was kind of just like, oh, okay. This is how it's going to go down. So I immediately left. That sucks, man. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, like what a great song. Do you know who the next person was? I can't remember. I don't really remember. I don't think I knew them. And I was just kind of confused. Whoever that DJ is, fuck you. You're not welcome on this podcast. No, not at all. That guy got bottled by Felix 20 minutes.

I caught him lacking in the car park and showed him what's up. Yeah.